British Speak !!

I head off to the store to buy some crisps. Wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t have the five quid to pay the bloke at the till.  Disappointed as I was, I made my way to the train.  After all I was looking forward to a weekend with my chap.  I was further cheesed off as I got on the train and encountered a cheeky little bugger who wanted to have a bleedin' chin wag with me.

Now we know I am very sociable...but sometimes, i'd like folks to chivvy along and wish they would stop fannying around and hurry up and tell me what they want. I'd had about enough...so I got rid of the duffer

I finally met with my chap and his lady at the pub,  got myself some nosh....bangers and mash to be specific...and also ordered a few of pints of ale and got pissed. I had to get more grub to avoid honking the next day..

And now ladies and gentleman...bob's your uncle!

(If you can translate this story into American English, I will fly you out here and take you to get some bangers and mash and pimms).